Envy is a great teacher.

Let’s talk about that certain someone who’s already living the dream you’re after. 

Everyone knows this person. They seem to have everything all wrapped up in a bow and the stars seem to align naturally for them as if it were just meant to be. 

When you meet that certain someone who seems to have the perfect life, house, husband, wife, dog, clothes or body, how does it make you feel? Like most humans, probably not so great. You might wonder how you missed opportunities, where you went off course, why you didn’t have more willpower or even better genes. In a nutshell, comparing probably makes you feel “less than”. The list could go on I’m sure, but rather than focus attention there, I’d offer up the following question to consider: when you envy someone else’s life and circumstance, what can it teach you?

Jealousy and envy can be bearers of great information, if we take the time to consider the why behind how we feel. When you’re envious of someone, it’s usually an indication that you’re not happy with an area of your life. And that’s the perfect place to start if you want to make a change. Remember, there will always be someone smarter, more athletic, more confident, successful, pretty, handsome—always.

In the exercise that follows, create a list of the areas you want to improve, put those things on paper, reflect on them and then create a plan to make changes that make you proud. 

1. Growing up, who was the person who made you jealous and why?

2. Get in touch with the person you most admire. Take him/her out for coffee and share how you’d appreciate help in identifying the specific actions and habits that would put you on a similar path. In most cases, they’ll be humbled you reached out, they’ll want to help and will share their story.

For more helpful tips, check out my e-book, In Defense of Quitting.